Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What I want in a candidate... By Stephen

A list of things Stephen would like from a presidential candidate.

1. I don't need gun control
I like guns, and I think everybody should have one. If you don't want people to kill each other then you were born on the wrong planet. Americans were given the right to have guns just in case they needed them for another revolution. I don't think our founding fathers imagined the government they were setting up would last as long as it has.
Gun violence would exist even we had gun control, criminals don't follow laws, and you can't gun control away the crazy. You'd also be a lot less likely to talk in a movie theater if you thought the guy
behind you was packing. "What was that, was that text important" <shoots the iPhone>.

2. I am tired of the war on drugs; so stop it.
Has our war really done anything at all? I mean, right now I could drive ten minutes and talk to a guy who could pretty much sell me anything I want. True the war has made it more expensive for me to buy drugs, but I can still buy them. Oh, I know, the war was meant to make drugs expensive so organized crime syndicates could make loads of money in order to gain huge influence in small countries. Look, just legalize them and tax the crap out of them. It'd be cheaper.

3. Let Rod and Todd get married.
Come on people; what the Hell is wrong with you? How can you deny people the right to loose half their stuff in a divorce. Think of how fabulous those weddings would be. You will let the most vile sycophantic serial rapist murderer get married as long as it's to somebody of the opposite sex. That's just crazy. Priorities people, please get them straight.

4. Concise and adequate tax policies.
Anyone who pays taxes knows the whole system is effed up. I would pay more if it would help, but I don't think it would. I know of people who skirt the tax brackets. Make a certain amount get taxed % of what you make. Then get a raise and get taxed more, but bring home less over all. I know people who pay nothing and get huge tax returns. Others who pay more in than I make in a year and still owe more come tax time. A flat tax seems like it would work, but where do you set that mark. 10% I guess, but it's something I don't know a lot about. Just make the entire system simpler. I seem to remember an incident involving tea and it had something to do with taxes. It was probably important, but it slips my mind.

5. Respectable foreign policy.
We seem to get really involved in other countries when they have something we want. If you have oil we are in, live in some crap country with no resources, well that sucks. You'll just have to live with that militant dictator that is killing all of your people. Call us when you find gold or oil. If we took our substantial military power and used it to benefit the countries who needed the help most I think a lot of people around the world would be more supportive of our country in general. How many homes could have been built in Africa with the money we spent on bombing Iraq? If we weren't in a lot of places where we shouldn't be there might be less hate.

6. I like stem cells and so should you.
Nobody really knows the benefits of researching those little guys. They could be the cure for everything or be useless. The thing is we don't know. Why should we limit ourselves when the possibilities could be endless.

7. I could use some socialized medicine.
Why is it that all other major economic super powers of the world have this and we don't? I don't pay the policemen to kill the bad guy. I don't pay the fireman to put out fires. So why do I have to pay the medimen to unbreak my legs? At least in my own town anyways. So we have the best medical system in the world; as long as you can pay for it. We already have social programs for everything else, what's one more? Bet you could pay for it with the money you save not fighting the war on drugs.

8. Abortion needs to stay legal.
I'm a guy, so as far as I'm concerned my opinion doesn't matter on this subject. Let the ladies get this one. I wouldn't do it myself, but I don't want the option to not exist.

9. They're taking our Jobs!!!
This country was founded by immigrants. It was built by immigrants. It is maintained by immigrants. We rock and people want to live here, why keep them out? If they don't find work a lot of them go home. I'm not 100% on what sort of government assistance these guys get. If they get any at all. Which is fine I guess. They keep this country running and will continue to do so as long as we continue to rock. If you want them out then suck more.

10. Believe in whatever invisible being you want, but don't use it to dictate the way I choose to live my life.
If you have some holy book that says it's wrong, but you have no reason other than it irritates your personal deity, then it's not a real law. This country was founded on libertarian values of freedom from tyranny. I'm willing to bet that most of them weren't even Christan's. I find it irritating that people use a 2000 year old manual to decide things for a country filled with people who may or may not believe in it. Using it to justify ludicrous sanctions and regulations on people and their activities is completely counter productive. Religious doctrine is what gave us the dark ages, the Renaissance was fueled by people breaking away from the accepted religious governmental practices. Jesus didn't say nothing about no YouTube.

There isn't a candidate out there who wants what I want. I live in Texas so my vote doesn't count unless I vote Republican. I honestly think the whole country is messed up. I think the only way it will ever be fixed is if we are forced to. So I say vote for the worst candidate possible. Break the thing until we are at war, with a 50% tax rate, and 10 dollar a gallon gas prices. Then maybe, just maybe we can throw away the crap system we have in favor of a better one.

                                                                                                              Professional Apathist
                                                                                                                     Stephen Hatfield

1 comment:

  1. I love it! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks the war on drugs should go. Personally I'd legalize pot for the medical uses it has and tax the hell out of it, but that's just me. I think that's the only reason it isn't legal-because they haven't figured out a way to tax it yet.

    And LOL I'm in Georgia, so my vote doesn't count all that much either! At least I'm not around a bunch of people who think Democrats are evil like some I knew back home in NC...*eye roll*. I'm still waiting for my horns and pitchfork. :)